The dream this morning had some clear symbols I think I can get my head around. I am again a national guard soldier and I am in a very large historic armoury building somewhere. I am putting my formal dress green uniform together. I have it on a clothes hanger dangling from the top bed of a set of bunks. I am carefully putting my ribbons and medals on it. I am such a perfectionist! I am not satisfied with how it looks. My younger brother Brian walks in wearing his own dress greens. (My brother also served for a brief time in the national guard in the waking world and he looks very relaxed and comfortable in his uniform). Brain asks me what is taking me so long. We both are suppose to compete in a soldier of the year competition and my heart is just not into it.
All of a sudden the power goes out and the lights go dark. I walk down stairs out the front door and I reach the sidewalk, and turn left at the street, and walk down to the power box station at the corner of the city block. The box is open. I can see the main power switch lever has been shut off. People are standing behind me and I try to ignore them as they ask me what I am going to do. Well, hell with what anybody thinks or what the consequences might be! I am flipping the damn switch back on! Then I wake up.
I hope I didn't fry some electrician who was working to fix the power. Ha! Ha! I can do such rebellious and impulsive things; especially in my dreams.
I have said this before, but these army dreams are really beginning to annoy me. I wish I could purge my conscious and unconscious of ever having to remember or relive those experiences ever again. Apparently, that experience will forever be apart of who I am and will follow me for the rest of this life and well into next.
The army dress uniform must be worn and fit to exacting high standards. It is highly symbolic of order, discipline and conformity. I once took pride in trying to get it just right. These days I look back on all that fuss as such a mundane and trivial waste of time. What benefit is there from strutting around like a well groomed rooster? I was so glad when the power went out and I had an excuse to leave the scene. "The power", now there is a reoccurring symbol. This was in my last dream post. You could say my personal power was shut off. I was denied the energy to complete the task at hand, and I had set out to reclaim it, literally and figuratively, to turn it back on no matter the cost.
Yesterday, I slept all day and all night. My energy reserves were depleted. The job wore me out on the physical level and people everywhere in my life suck the vitality of my emotional energy. I am so empathic and attuned to the emotions of others that it exhausts me and I must spend time alone to recharge myself. Nobody recognizes this or understands how much all that social interaction and/or physical effort drains me. I get no sympathy or understanding. I'm far too complex and complicated for most people to relate to or deal with. Such is my life.
Mars my ancient astrological ruler is in retrograde right now. Mars is in the sign of Libra. It is not exactly happy there. Mars is the warrior planet of action and Libra is so much about diplomacy and taking the emotional needs of others into consideration. My brother, Brian, is a Taurus, my opposite sign. Taurus is a fixed earth sign. It is all about being grounded, sensual, in luxury and comfort in one's own skin. My brother was relaxed and unconcerned about what the inspectors might have thought of his uniform really. He was stubbornly going to be himself and let the chips fall where they may. It was true to how he is in the waking life. I had to smile. There is a part of me that envies that about my younger brother.
Uranus is in opposition to Mars this week as well. There is a crazy Grand Cross thing in the heavens this week. Uranus is the weird rebellious odd ball planet and Mars is the co-ruler planet of us Scorpios. Not so surprising I would do something dangerous and reckless like reaching into that power box to flip the switch. Mars is wanting his energy back and Uranus is saying, "Okay, here some, and I hope you get shocked!", all the while cackling like a mad man.
Well, I suppose there is a lot more I could say about all this imagery and astrology, but I am hungry now and I cannot give anything much deeper thought until I satisfy my tummy. I am driven to distraction. I will ponder this further while I bite into a sandwich. Perhaps that will inspire some deeper richer insights. It usually does! Ha! Ha!
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