The Ugly Face

The dream this time had me waking up in cold sweat! It was a violent one. I was thrashing as I woke up from it. I am in a city somewhere in Europe. Madrid, perhaps? I am visiting an African American man who is an old friend. He has married a woman over there. I have come on vacation and I am staying with him and his family. It is a blended family. The man has children from a previous marriage and young children with his new wife as well. They live in an unusual house built into a cliff face. The top of the cliff has a very nice city park with a scenic overlook. I explore the house and look through it's many rooms.

My friend decides to have a cook out outside in the wonderful summer weather. People all over Europe love to dine outside when the weather permits. It is a common sight. My friend is running a grill and we converse with drinks in hand. Suddenly, we hear shots of automatic weapons fire, a few city blocks to the north. It sounds like the city is being attacked! People are running away from the direction of the gun fire. No one seems to know what is going on. Everyone just wants to be safe.

Everyone at the our little dinner party is in full panic mode and they scatter. I run in the opposite direction of the guns but have no idea what I am running from or running to. I soon run into a gang of men. They are tourists like me. There are Brits, Americans, Germans and who knows what else. They are gay men and one of them is on the hunt for a white heterosexual man to have his way with. His comrades are along to help him with his wicked intentions. He walks up to me and puts a noose of dental floss around my left wrist. I scuffle with these guys to try to get away. That damn dental floss gets really tight and is cutting my arm badly. I yell for help. Three shop keepers come to my aid. They beat back these guys with sticks and drag me away into their store front and out of danger. I am kicking and screaming, and fighting with every step to get away from this gang of gay men. The shop keepers manage to get me up a few short steps and into their store, and slam the door on our attackers. I wake up thrashing and screaming. Damn! That was a close one!

How do I interpret this dream? The natural course would be to suggest I have a paranoia toward gay men. I have had gay friends. Many of them are good people but they all have a dark side like every human being. I once got into an argument about gay marriage with a gay friend and that triggered a real ugly response. My friend, who was generally a happy friendly person, became filled with rage and turned all his friends against me. A difference of opinion is not tolerated in the gay community. There is such a bent up undercurrent of pain and rage in these people toward the rest of society that it borders on militancy. My dream looks into the face of that rage and it is a tragic and ugly face, and one I want to run far away from screaming in terror.

I have learned to not speak about gay people or gay issues. I no longer want to make myself a target of their rage. I want to live my life in peace. Like Chief Joseph famously said, "I will fight no more". Hopefully, this blog will not attract any attacks. I always record my dreams as I see them. They are all my dreams: the good, the bad and the ugly. I will not censor them.